Spoil the rod, spare the child?

In today's society many may differ but it's clear to see that Child abuse is overlooked and seems to be occurring more than ever within New Zealand households. With many not even knowing the difference between abuse and discipline. Also the unexpected increasing number of child abuse occurring and the outcome of murders happening around the country. This is clearly one of the issues that needs to be tackled and overcome as a nation. The consequences of your denial will be with you for a lifetime and will be passed down to the next generations. Break your Silence on Abuse. "Patty Rase Hopson."

In New Zealand the issue of not knowing the difference between discipline and child abuse is clearly a problem for parents and caregivers today. Many argue that spanking ones child as discipline also teaches them how to be violent.But a beating is not a spanking. Beatings are abuse, and there is no religious purpose for a beating but when a bruise or mark appears on ones body it is called abuse. Especially when the child is punished as a scape goat for you to lash out when you've had a bad day. For example when a parent/ caregiver returns from a long day at work and is frustrated with anger and the child accidentally bumps into them, the caregiver then closed fists them in the face out of meanness leaving a bruise on his mouth for at least three days.

Though children who have grown up around abuse may think that the marks they receive that disappear after a week or two may not be called child abuse it is obvious to see that it is. Spankings however don't leave physical nor emotional trauma, they don't promote violence, they don't install fear into that child's life but teaches the child the boundaries and what is and what isn't acceptable. For example if a child hurts their sibling by pulling their hair on purpose, the parent/caregiver spanks the child as a consequence for their action. Child cries and feels pain for a little while but learns to not to pull their siblings hair again. Unfortunately with the number of Abuse cases revealed it's clear to see New Zealand as a country still lacks from knowing the difference between Abuse and Discipline.

Secondly, As Karen Adam clearly states "Child abuse does not go away, but 90 percent of child abuse is preventable". With articles revealing the horrifying facts it is clear to see the majority of child abuse accidents that occur in New Zealand happen while trying to discipline ones child in their own home. What starts off as an innocent spanking then turns into rage and anger which unleashes the true nature of abuse causing them to mark the child with bruises and scars that could possibly be with them forever.

This is the outcome for when the child does not respond the way they are expected too. America's abuse rates may be the highest, but that is due to such a large population. NZ's population is small in comparison (4.26 million), but the ratio is high and that is what makes it the worst in the world. Statistics within New Zealand is such a disappointment as the years go by the number of child abuse cases are increasing every year.

Majority of parents clearly believe that physical harm like spanking is ok but when one gets to the point of shouting and letting their anger go beyond control that is when it becomes abuse. A child may not learn whats right from wrong through screaming but only feel and see the physical pain and humiliation as they feel they have done something wrong. When the fact of the matter is it's the lack of communication one shares with their child. "One in four children being victimized? That's about seven children in every classroom. That's a significant proportion of the population." Wendy Craig. The increasing rate in NZ has to be dealt with as it is appauling to have children grow up around abuse thinking it is ok to abuse. Especially when they think that disciplining their child is physically beating them to the point where the child cannot move. 

Even with the laws being strict it's not preventing the fact that parents/caregivers still do it in their homes. Many cases in today's articles and videos showcase young innocent lives that were taken away before their time. The physicality of the abuse the children received before their deaths were shocking as the reasons behind the abuse were mainly drug related or for "easy" money through WINZ.


Two of New Zealands striking cases was the story of Ngatikaura Ngati who was brutally abused by his birth mother and step father for doing what any child does which is accidentally wet the bed. 12 weeks after moving in with his birth mother he was announced "dead." and Nia Glassie which shocked people all over as her own family put her in a dryer and spun her around on the clothesline til she fell off and kicking her in the head causing the injuries that murdered her. The amount of bruises found on their body was too much for any child to go through and feel in the last hours.

Though Ngatikaura and Nia were not the first nor will be the last victims of abuse they are prime examples of what New Zealand needs to look in to and find a way to teach the kids of today what's wrong and what's right. Hopefully someday in the future this will become a milestone for New Zealand and the rates for child abuse decreases instead of increasing especially in the number of deaths for young children.

 In the final analysis, It is clear to see Child abuse is something New Zealand turns a blind eye too, but pointing the finger and going back and fourth placing the blame on one another. Is just as bad as pretending that you don't know when Child abuse occurs. It's obvious that is it time for a change rather than focusing on whose responsible people should be finding a solution. Educating our society would be a start. Every parent has their own style of parenting but it's up to them to decide were the limit is. It's something parents/caregivers owe to their children to start making this world a safer place for them. After watching and reading these horrific stories everyone in New Zealand who has children should be making it their priority to take action and protect not hurt their children. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zz2uTZ0CJBQ






















REFERENCES:

Binning, E. (2007). From Happiness to Hell. Retrieved. August 24, 2010 From
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10439204


Barriere, D. (2007). Child abuse an epidemic in New Zealand. Retrieved. September 18, 2010 From
http://www.child-abuse-effects.com/child-abuse-an-epidemic-in-new-zealand.html


DaSilva. T. (2003). Why Parents Abuse. Retrieved. September 21, 2010 From
http://childabuse-ja.com.tripod.com/why.html


Masters. C. and Rowan. J. (2008). Nia Glassie's Five Days of Hell. Retrieved September 26, 2010 From
http://www.nzherald.co.nz/nz/news/article.cfm?c_id=1&objectid=10543813

Verma. P. (2008). Child Abuse Vs Discipline. Retrieved August 31, 2010 From
http://www.child-discipline-with-love.com/child-abuse-vs-discipline.html